I knew there was a reason I got out of bed this morning
google is great because you can ask something really obvious and nobody has to know
the price of a popcorn and soda at target: $1.99
the price of a popcorn and soda at the movies: an entire month’s rent and your first born child
who knew a card in cards against humanity could remind me of high school
Did you mean supernatural
no i meant high school honestly why do you guys do this
I think you mean supernatural
i literally do not
I’m pretty sure you do mean supernatural
IM SORRY YOUR FANDOM SUCKS AND MAKES EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM AND IM SORRY THE WRITERS OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOW ARE TOO HOMOPHOBIC TO POSSIBLY MAKE ANY OF THEIR MAIN CHARACTERS LGBT+ AND IM SORRY THEY QUEERBAIT INTO OBLIVION LIKE IM VERY SORRY
why do people have like 74973 different names for these
looking through the notes for this post is hilarious bc everyone has a different name they insist is the only one
you have your contenders:
you have your hispanohablantes:
you have your homestucks:
and you have this guy:
#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle
this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS.
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GODTumblr users should never make infomercials
CLIMB THE HIGHEST SURFACE POSSIBLE WOOOO
I want to read that paper
"nerd" and"loser" were like hard hitting insults in the early 2000’s and now they are used as affectionate terms we have truly come full circle
Sorry, but no, we did a 180. A full circle would mean we went back to them as insults
i feel as if this symbolizes the fact that shes under so much stress to be beautiful
or shes stoned as fuck
Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush
Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her
lol or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe.
Or she’s turning into the black swan
Or maybe she’s born with it
Or maybe it’s Maybelline
tumblr is blocked on my schools internet for being a dating site